Red Carpet Comedies *NEW* 12-20-12


Just a collection of celebrity, TV, and Movie jokes. None of them were thought of by me, all were collected online.

ANSWER AND THEN THE QUESTION

ANSWER: FRESH PRINTS

QUESTION: WHAT DOES WILL SMITH LEAVE BEHIND AFTER COMMITTING A CRIME?

ANSWER: ALTAVISTA BABY!

QUESTION- WHAT IS ARNOLD SCHWARZENAGGER’S FAVORITE WEBSITE

ANSWER: GREMLINS 3

QUESTION: WHAT MOVIE WILL SNOOKI’S BABY BE STARRING IN?

 FUN FACTS ABOUT CELEBRITIES

  • Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming that Law And Order are the names of his right and left legs
  • Justin Bieber can play KINECT by flipping his hair.
  • Taylor Swift was banned from relationship statuses on Facebook
  • Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker’s real father.
  • The Taylor Swift 2009 calendar for some reason were just all pictures of Kanye West.
  • Chuck Norris won an award today. Kanye West sat politely in his seat.
  • Zooey Deschanel has siblings, Theme Parkey Deschanel and Water Parkey Deschanel.
  • DVD’s say not to watch Pirate movies. But when Johnny Depp is in one, they say it’s a “Must-Watch”

And Now………

Just Another Time Wasting Website Takes A Look At Twilight

I went to see Twilight and there was this annoying girl who talked all the way through it. I think her name was Kristen Stewart.

Dear Twilight fans,Thank you for making us look sane and fit back into everyday society.Yours sincerely, Trekkies.

On a scale of Kristen Stewart to Nicki Minaj, how many facial expressions do you have?

Kristen Stewart should be a mathematician.

She’s always simplifying expressions.

Twilight lies! I’ve seen Robert Pattinson in a mirror and the sun.

The Complete Track Listing For Taylor Swift’s Next Album

  • Our Song Is Pretty Dated Now
  • This Time It’s True Love. (No really you guys, I SWEAR.) (Stop laughing.) (Seriously, stop laughing!)
  • One Relationship Away From a Miley Haircut
  • Sparks Fly When I Set Fire To Your House For Leaving Me
  • Today was a Fairytale, Tomorrow will be Filled with Sappy Chick Flicks, Boy Hating and an Entire tub of Ben & Jerry’s
  • Hey Stephen… I’m Sorry I Called You John

And Now………

Just Another Time Wasting Website Takes A Look At The Hunger Games

Hey guys! It’s me Peeta! From “The Hunger Games”. Not a lot of people know this but I had to use pick-up lines to woo Katniss over. I’d like to share ’em with you guys, maybe you could use them on your crush.

“I think I’ve been stung by a trackerjacker… because you look so good I must be hallucinating!”

“You make Snares? Because I’m all tangled up in your love.”

There ya go. Try that and you may just make Panam’s cutest couple.

Gale: You’re on the phone with your baker, he’s upset
Katniss: Oh no
Gale: Goin’ off about some burnt bread
Gale: ‘Cause he don’t know how to hunt like I do
Katniss: Gale, stop
Gale: I’m in the woods, it’s a typical Sunday afternoon
Gale: I’m hunting the kind of squirrels he doesn’t like
Gale: He’ll never be able to hunt like I do
Gale: CUZ HE BAKES BREAD
Gale: I MAKE SNARES
Gale: HE EATS CUPCAKES
Gale: AND I HUNT BEARS
Katniss: Gale, Just stop

Peeta: When I walk out of the shop
Katniss: Not again-
Peeta: This is what I see
Katniss: Peeta stop
Peeta: Katniss Everdeen is a-lookin at me
Peeta: I GOT A LOAF IN MY HANDS
Peeta: AND I AIN’T AFRAID TO THROW IT, THROW IT, THROW IT
Katniss: You done?
Peeta: I’M PEETA AND I KNOW IT

Due to limited tickets for the midnight showing of The Hunger Games, guests will be asked to fight to the death in our area.

Thanks,

The Theater Staff

Lady Gaga Pick-Up Lines

“Hey babe we go together like Lady Gaga and #1 records!”

“Baby girl, you’re like Lady Gaga’s single “Poker Face” (Why’s that?) Cause I just can’t get you out of my head!”

“I’ll never have a Bad Romance with you!”

“Hey Night, Do You Want To Get Married?”

“Can I Have The Number To Your Telephone?”

“You And I Can Just Dance”

“I’ll Feel Like I’m On The Edge Of Glory When I’m With You”

And Now……

Just Another Time Wasting Website Takes A Look At Harry Potter

Shhhhh Don’t tell anyone, but I’m secretly a student at Hogwarts. Now let’s just keep this between you and me okay. Now I’ll admit it, I’m a troublemaker at that school. But you have to have a little fun at such a serious school. Because of my behavior, I’ve had to write sentences, just like at a regular school, you know, where the teacher makes you write “I will not talk in class” 100 times or whatever. Anyway, here are some of the things I’ve had to do sentences on:

  • I will not eat chocolate frogs in Potions class.
  • Dumbledore is not Santa Claus and I will not sit on his lap and tell him what I want.
  • There is no open-mic night at Hogwarts.
  • There is no “Bring a Muggle To School Day”.
  • I will not say the phrase “Dude, get a life.” to Lord Voldemort
  • I am not permitted to utter the line “Hey Rocky, Watch Me Pull A_____Out Of My Hat” during Charms class.

Hey guys! It’s me Ron Weasley. I had to deliver some pretty good pick-up lines to get Hermione to fall in love with me! Here are some of them

  • My love for you burns like a dying phoenix.
  • My name may not be Luna but I sure know how to Lovegood.

Use these, and you’ll become Hogwarts cutest couple! GUARANTEED!

One thought on “Red Carpet Comedies *NEW* 12-20-12

  1. Pingback: NEW PAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! « MERRY CHRISTMAS!

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