What I’ve Learned From Movies

Movies are fun to watch. But believe it or not most of them are actually educational. Here are things I’ve learned from movies.

  • A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds
  • One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them than 20 men firing at 1 man.
  • Creepy music coming from a cemetery should always be investigated more closely.
  • You can tell if somebody is British because they will be wearing a bow tie.
  • A cough is usually the sign of a terminal illness.
  • Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.
  • When in love, it is customary to burst into song.
  • When confronted by an evil international terrorist, sarcasm and wisecracks are your best weapons.
  • Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.
  • The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
  • All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices so you know exactly when they’ll go off.
  • When you walk into a room and see the person you are trying to capture or shoot, call out their name or yell ‘Hey!’ or ‘Stop!’ first to give them a sporting chance to run. The element of surprise is overrated…and unfair.
  • No Australian adventure is complete without one:
    1. A Kangaroo.
    2. A Boomerang.
    3. Ayers Rock.
    4. A Koala.
    5. All of the above.
  •  Drive-ins only show classic horror movies.
  • Major disasters always happen in New York.
  • Television news bulletins always have an important story that will affect you precisely at that moment.
  • Ghosts will always take the time to dim the lights in your house.
  • The crowd will always part while you walk into a dance/ball, and everyone will whisper in delight of your beauty. Also, your entrance will always be accompanied by a fitting song. E.g. Taylor Swift’s Today Was A Fairytale
  • Everyone in your town/school/workplace is interested in your secrets and lies. They’re also very eager to spread rumours about you.
  • Whenever you’re in trouble, no matter where you are, you will not have cell phone reception.
  • The doorbell rings and you look through the peep hole and no one is there.
  • “Everything will be all right” really means “In a few hours everything will suck!”
  • There aren’t very many women in space.
  • Always listen to the creepy person.
  • You’re likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
  • Animals understand us.
  •  Dogs always know who’s bad and will naturally bark at them.
  • All single women have a cat.
  •  Any assault weapon used by the hero will never run out of ammo.
  •  In spite of all the many brands of high-tech computers and laptops, when a tech-savvy computer person needs to do a serious job of computer hacking, a Mac is the only computer that can possibly do the job.

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