Auld Lang Syne *NEW* 12-26-2012


Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And auld lang syne!

Chorus.-For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne.
We’ll take a cup o’ kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.

Hey everybody! I love New Years Eve. It’s a night where we take a look back and reflect on the year. Then on New Years Day we come up with what we  want to improve in the following year. PLUS A BIG SPARKLY GLITTERY BALL DROPS FROM THE SKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whiskers The Cat’s New Years Resolutions

  • I will listen to my owner when he calls for me (occasionally)
  • I will not hiss at the dog (unless I’m in a bad mood).
  • Bite that freak that gives me shots.
  • Use the new living room couch as a scratching post.

Melvin The Computer Addict’s New Years Resolutions

  •  I resolve… I resolve to… I resolve to, uh… I resolve to, uh, get my, er… I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off-line work done, too!

 

  • I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning… 4:30 is much more practical.
  • I will stop using  “What’s your URL?” as a pick-up line.
  • When I hear a funny joke, I will not reply “LOL, LOL”
  • I will not just use Facebook for Farmville and stupid quizzes.

It may be fun to make New Years Resolutions, but most of the time nobody actually keeps them! Here are: New Years Resolutions You CAN Actually Keep

  • Read less.
  • Gain weight.
  • Stop exercising.
  • Watch more TV.
  • Start being superstitious.
  • Stop bringing lunch from home, instead eat out more.
  • Spend more time at work.
  • Get further in debt.
  • Focus on the faults of others.

ANSWER AND THEN THE QUESTION

Answer: “I haven’t seen you in a year!”

Question: What do you say to someone on New Years Day you didn’t see on New Year’s Eve!

Fido The Dog’s New Years Resolutions

  • I will not bark each time I hear or see a dog on the TV.
  • I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.
  • I will not eat my or Whisker’s poop.
  • I will shake the rainwater out of my coat before I enter the house.
  • I must remember cats are from Venus, I am from Mars.
  • I will not chase the stick until I see it leave Human’s hand.

Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house. Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.

The cookies I’d nibbled, the eggnog I would taste. At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales there arose such a number! When I walked to the store it was less a walk than a lumber.

I remembered the marvelous meals I’d prepared, The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rare,

The milk and the dough balls, the bread and the cheese And the way I’d never said, “None for me, please.”

As I dressed myself in my husband’s old shirt And prepared once again to do battle with dirt— I said to myself, as only I can “You can’t spend another winter disguised as a man!”

So — away with the last of the sour cream dip, Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip.

Every last bit of food that I like must be banished. Till all the additional ounces have vanished.

I won’t have a cookie — not even a lick. I’ll chew only on long celery sticks.

I won’t have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie, I’ll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.

I’m hungry, I’m lonesome, and life is a bore But isn’t that what January is for?

Unable to giggle, life’s no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!

SIGNS YOU’RE AT A BAD NEW YEARS EVE PARTY:

  • To give it that “Times Square” feeling, the host has hired a mugger and a pickpocket.
  • It’s January 6th.
  • The party hats look an awful lot like traffic safety cones.
  • At 11:55, the host announces, “I gotta get up early. Everybody out.”
  •  Macarena! Macarena! Macarena!
  • Everyone’s speaking whatever language “Auld Lang Syne” is in.
  • Everyone’s gathered around the tv watching Dick Clark’s…..American Bandstand.
  • The party hats are really pieces from David Letterman’s old haircut.
  • The banner says ” Happy 1995″.

NONE OF THESE THOUGHT OF BY ME!

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One thought on “Auld Lang Syne *NEW* 12-26-2012

  1. Pingback: NEW PAGE(S) « MERRY CHRISTMAS!

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