Monday Madness: Firework Of Art

Sorry for not posting Saturday, I was watching fireworks. Ah fireworks. A great celebration of American culture…that your neighbor will set off at 4 AM. Well anyway, I thought Monday Madness could create its own fireworks show. So bring your blanket, cooler, Aspirin and junkfood (actually, you should always have these while reading Monday Madness) and enjoy the show.




Those fireworks

puts on sunglasses

cost an arm and a leg.


High five fireworks

Every time they see each other, sparks fly!

Thank you everyone! See you Friday.


Monday Madness: The Infant Casino And Resort

  Have you ever sat down and thought “You know horse wagering! I wanna do that but with toddlers!”? If so, then congratulations, you’re a weirdo! Or an ABC executive. The network that gave us great programming like Cavemen and Work It has given us the new game show “Bet On Your Baby” in which we watch parents brag about their children for 43 minutes. Also there’s betting on babies or something. The point is- it’s stupid. Really stupid. So stupid that it should be honored. So today we shall salute Bet On Your Baby by having 2 pictures relating to babies and 2 pictures relating to gambling. This is..

Monday Madness’s

Bet On Your Baby 4 Photo Salute





Gambling addiction

Well, I mean, she’s got a valid point.


I’m looking at the baby in the mirror/And I’m realizing it’s really me/I’m seeing all the signs pointed here/I can’t believe I didn’t consider this possibility

And thus concludes another Monday Madness! See you Friday everyone!

Monday Madness: Cough Drop It Like It’s Hot

Well, I haven’t posted for a while. Why? I’ve been very sick. How? I’m tired pretty much all the time, I’ve been getting lots of headaches, I have a stuffy nose, I get cold at random times, and worst of all, I have this annoying cough that won’t go away! So as I was feeling bad, some things happened. The Harlem Shake has became a big thing. So, good for that. Also at a One Direction concert, someone threw a shoe at Harry Styles. Harry’s looking for who did it, while Taylor Swift’s looking for another shoe. What else? Survivor got its lowest ratings EVER. You can tell because the immunity challenge was “come up with a better reality show”.  The Oscars happened as well. There was an In Memoriam of Seth MacFarlane. Les Miserables got lots of nominations, and it deserved them. After all,  it made us truly think about slavery, because we all felt like slaves hearing Russel Crowe sing. Anyway that’s all over and now we can look forward to an even BIGGER awards show coming up….The Kids Choice Awards. Well as I’ve mentioned, I’m really not feeling well, so here’s what you came for, unless you’re new here, in that case WELCOME!

I'm A CAT!


YOLNT (You Only Live Nine Times)





Perhaps not the best ad campaign for Fish McBites.


Well see you FRIDAY for the epic return of Friday Night Fever. Hope I’m better by then.




Monday Madness: Love Is In The Air…Or Is That Poison?

THURSDAY IS VALENTINE’S DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY AM I EXCITED?????????? I DON’T KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well, yes Thursday is Valentine’s Day and…that’s it really. Really nothing more to say. Although I do have a question. Why is this holiday’s icon Cupid? Yes, because when I think of love, I think of a baby that shoots you in the butt! I mean, seriously?! And that whole thing about Valentine’s Day being started in Rome is a whole bunch of bologna! That’s  just what Hallmark says so nobody knows that THEY were the ones who came up with it. They just needed another excuse to make greeting cards and so they thought of a stupid name for a holiday, gave it a fake historical background and there ya go!  That’s why we celebrate Valentine’s Day. On a completely unrelated note, last night was the Grammy Awards. CBS, to avoid wardrobe malfunctions, told the celebrities to wear appropriate clothes. And told Lady Gaga the awards show was next Sunday. Well, as I’ve mentioned 2 other times, Thursday’s Valentine’s Day. So in honor of St. Valentine we’re going to play a game of The Meme Dating Game. Where we’ll showcase three memes and you get to choose which one will be your date. Choose carefully!

He’s a frisky fun fellow, but he always has a tear running down his cheek! Maybe if you choose him, it will become a tear of joy! Please welcome the Forever Alone Guy!



Want a girl who’s not clung tight to you and knows when to keep her distance! Well then don’t pick this choice! But she’s a nice girl. Everybody say hello to the Overly Attached Girlfriend…OR ELSE SHE’LL KILL YOU!



Finally we have the most adventurous man you’ll ever meet! Challenge Accepted!

Challenge Accepted



Who do you choose? Happy Valentine’s Day everybody!

Monday Madness: Facebook Funnies

Ah Facebook! A place for you to socialize with your friends, or stalk your ex girlfriends/boyfriends. Speaking of stalk, Facebook didn’t do so well in the stock market!
“When Facebook stock went on the market, it was priced at $38 a share. Now, a share is worth $18.99. Market analysts have said we’re not posting enough pictures of our cats on Facebook.” –Jimmy Kimmel. Their stock was so bad when Mark Zuckerberg, the creator of Facebook, went to McDonalds, the drive thru lady asked “Can you afford fries with that?” Now that’s pretty bad!

Stocks aside, Mark Zuckerberg created one of the most popular websites of all time. You know I read in an interview that Mark Zuckerberg only eats meat from things he kills. That explains why he ate Tom from MySpace. Anyway, besides socializing, people love to play games on Facebook. A game I’ve been noticing increasing in popularity is this Candy Crush Saga thing. I don’t really get it but, hey if you like it than power to ya! It’s kind of crazy the stuff people get addicted to. I remember when Farmville used to be the biggest thing on Facebook. I never really got into that. I mean, I just checked my Farmville for the first time in 3 years. It’s now a supermarket. Besides socializing and games, one of the most popular things on Facebook is sharing funny pictures. So today I thought I’d dedicate this episode of Monday Madness to funny pictures shared by my Facebook friends.



Oh, Whiskers that’s so cute. NOW BE GRATEFUL YOU LOSER!



I have no words.





Alright, well that’s all, see you Saturday. Keep up the good work Facebook friends!

MONDAY MADNESS: The X(mas) Files

Make my wish come true

All I want for Christmas is


WHAT?! That’s a bit creepy! Are you telling me you want an actual living human being for Christmas! Even worse, it’s ME! What will you do with me? I mean is that just a thing you do? You just ask for humans for Christmas. Then what? Do you lock them up some where or do experiments on them? I WANT ANSWERS!

All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth

My Two Front Teeth

See My Two Front Teeth

That’s strange! I thought you wanted ME! Now you want your two front teeth?! MAKE UP YOUR MIND!!

Grandma got run over by a reindeer.
Walking home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there’s no such thing as Santa,
but as for me and grandpa we believe.

I have nothing to say about this, I just really like this song. That’s all!

  Well, HO HO HEY there everybody! IT’S CHRISTMAS EVE! AND TOMORROW’S CHRISTMAS! Which means we’ll be taking our Winter Break. It will start on December 29th 2012 and end on January 6th 2013. So we will return on January 7th 2013. Alright well we should probably get started, so here we go:

12 Days

This one pretty much speaks for itself!

O Christmas Tree

The Bookworm’s Christmas Tree!




Which is why you should switch to Weight Watchers!

Alright, well that’s all! May you have a very merry Christmas!

MONDAY MADNESS: This Year’s (Stupidity) In Review

Well, they say Friday’s the end of the world and I believe ’em. Trust me, I was a skeptic at first but then after analyzing the facts, I realized this year’s biggest events were proof that the end is near. Don’t believe me? Take a look at all the signs below and then tell me that the world won’t end in 4 days.

(P.S. The events are ranked by stupidity level. P.S.S. I still don’t really think the world will end Friday. P.S.S.S. I have nothing for this one, it’s just I thought I’d give P.S.S.S some glory because it never gets used )

  4. Make like a banana and SPLIT! The Justin And Selena Breakup-  This year was the end of many things, the end of Twinkies (get to that later), the end of Twilight, but these things can not compare to the sorrows that were given to the end of true love. Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez broke up this year. Truly sad. It’s a real shame. They were so cute together. But why’d they break up. Many say it was because Selena saw Justin with a Victoria’s Secret model at The Lion King. But really it wasn’t that he was with a Victoria’s Secret model. It was that Justin saw the Lion King without her. (NOTE: This fact has not been proven but it just sounds so stupid it may be true).


  3. When Harry Met…Taylor. HAYLOR MADNESS!- You know, a recent study has came out that has shown that those in a steady relationship will live longer which must be terrible news for Taylor Swift. Let’s face it, Taylor Swift has had a lot of failed relationships. And another one has begun. I’m not saying this won’t work out, I’m just saying…..I guess that’s pretty much what I’m saying. But who knows, this could be true love!….HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyway she’s now with lead singer of the popular boy band One Direction, Harry Styles. This was really a bad move on Taylor’s part. If she’s going to date Harry, 25 million billion trillion bagadazillion people will hate her, and if she breaks up with him and says bad things about him in her break up song, then 25 million billion trillion bagadazillion people will hate her. The best choice for her was just not to start.


You know I’ll bet you she’ll call the song “I Went In The Wrong Direction”. Or “You Weren’t My Styles”. OR maybe it’ll be a nice friendly break up and they’ll have a 1D, T-Swift collaboration and call it “We Used To Be Beautiful, But Now We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together.”

  2. Will Work For Food  Hostess goes bankrupt- You know the world will end when the only food made to survive the apocalypse is dead. Twinkies (as well as various other popular desserts) no longer exist because Hostess, the company that makes them filed for bankruptcy this year.    It’s sad to think that this next generation is going to grow up and live their lives not knowing what a Twinkie is. They’ll never get to tasted that delicious cream filling. It’s quite sad.


Think of all the consequences that come with Hostess going bankrupt.

  • The people who eat Hostess cakes will discover apples and strawberries are real foods, not just artificial flavors.
  • Little Debbie will go to court for custody of Twinkie The Kid.
  • Scientists may find out what is in a Twinkie.

1. The Tragic School Shooting The school shooting that took place in Newtown, Connecticut- This is where this otherwise supposed to be funny post takes a more serious turn, this is where we start to talk about a MAJOR issue that is more serious than a stupid celebrity couple or the loss of a snack food. This is an ACTUAL tragedy. If you hadn’t heard, 20 kids and 5 staff members were shot and killed at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtoqn, Connecticut. 20 children?!?!?!?!??!?!?! That’s 20 Christmases…..GONE! 20 kids that will never get to pursue their dreams, 20 kids that will never get to grow up, become a teenager, get a job, get a wife, and have children. 20 lives have been lost. 2o families have been affected by this. And that just makes me sick.


That’s all. See you next week.