I <3 Saturdays: WHAT THE HECK IS FIGGY PUDDING?!

Oh, bring us a figgy pudding;
Oh, bring us a figgy pudding;
Oh, bring us a figgy pudding and a cup of good cheer

We won’t go until we get some;
We won’t go until we get some;
We won’t go until we get some, so bring some out here

I DON’T HAVE ANY FIGGY PUDDING OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOBODY DOES! I MEAN, WHERE DO YOU EVEN GET THIS STUFF?! FIGGY PUDDING? WOW! AND A CUP OF GOOD CHEER?! GO TO STARBUCKS AND ASK FOR A STRAWBERRIES AND CREAM FRAPPUCCINO!!!! THERE’S YOUR CUP OF GOOD CHEER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OKAY, NOW LET ME WATCH ELF! THANKS AND HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good King Wenceslas looked out
On the feast of Stephen
When the snow lay round about
Deep and crisp and even

On the feast of Stephen?! YOU ATE A PERSON! AND YOU CALL THIS MAN YOUR KING?! YOU SICKEN ME! YOU SICKEN ME WENCELAS! TAKE YOUR CANNIBALISM ELSEWHERE!

A day or two ago
I thought I’d take a ride
And soon Miss Fanny Bright
Was seated by my side
The horse was lean and lank
Misfortune seemed his lot
We got into a drifted bank
And then we got upsot

Upsot?! Upsot?! Oh yea, lets make up new words!!! That will really impress Miss Fanny won’t it? GRAB A DICTIONARY AND LEARN REAL WORDS AND GET OUT OF MY BACKYARD!!!

On the first day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
A partridge in a pear tree. 

A partridge in a pear tree? Yes because THAT’S what every single girl wants. They just want a partridge in a pear tree! That’s on everybody’s Christmas list. I WANT A PONY, A BIKE, OH AND A PEAR TREE WITH A PARTRIDGE IN IT! Come on man. That gift is for the birds.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads.

Yes. That’s what I think of when I think of foods that Children love. I think of sugar-plums. Not candy, or ice cream, or pizza, or anything children actually eat! No, no, just sugar-plums. And apparently sugar-plums have taken up dancing too. But only in a child’s head. Yea. They just sneak inside a kid’s ear and start doing the Tango.

Well I think I’ve ripped apart enough of your Christmas cheer. Let’s take a look at some funny pictures shall we.

Christmas Therapy

HEY! SNL tonight. (For all of you that don’t know SNL stands for Saturday Night Live, it is a sketch comedy series. There is mild language and sexual references so we suggest knowing that before sitting around at 11:30 for quality family time) Actually tonight it’s on at 10:00 AND 11:30. @ 10 is last Saturday’s episode, which I assume they’re playing it because it was their Christmas episode. And then @ 11:30 is the rerun with Bruno Mars, which will be probably as good as it was the first time.

Stanley

From the creators of Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer comes….Stanley The Spare Reindeer!

Without Glasses

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Has it really come to this?!

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