Things You Don’t Wanna Hear During Thanksgiving

  • Honey where’s the fire extinguisher?
  • All we have is decaf.
  • I didn’t have enough Pumpkin Pie filling so I mixed in some ground-up jalapenos….
  • Still need that fire extinguisher.
  • Hey kids, I read that the Pilgrims probably didn’t even have turkey on the first Thanksgiving so we’re having something authentic – woodchuck!
  • Dad, there are some people at the front door dressed up like pilgrims and Indians and they want to sing to you…
  • Can we please open some windows so the smoke alarm will shut off?
  • And thank you for this food, and thank you that I lost my job yesterday – oh honey, sorry but I forgot to mention that to you…
  • Billy’s fine. He hasn’t thrown up in hours.
  • It’s never too early for carols. Let’s sing!
  • Try it! It tastes as good as the real thing but it’s much healthier!
  • I think this turkey will be okay once I wipe the fire extinguisher foam off…
  • Here’s a poem I wrote about thankfulness.
  • We’re lactose-intolerant vegetarians!


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