Well, we have some new pages! We’ve had this since Sunday, but just to let you know we have the Addicted To TV? page and we also have a page just added a few hours ago, Rejected Disneyworld attractions!


Things You Don’t Wanna Hear At An Amusement Park

  • You must have this much medical insurance to ride.
  • To fasten your seat belts, insert..oh look at that, you’re already moving! Enjoy your day at Super Fun Adventure Action Movie TV World!
  • Here at Super Fun Adventure Action Movie TV World, we make sure our rides are operated the best and that the operators know what they are doing. That’s why we hired all of the NFL replacement refs!
  • This ride has shut down.
  • Here comes the loop de loop…oh wait why is there a loop de loop? This is the bumper cars…
  • Well that’s not how the ride’s supposed to move.

Things You Don’t Wanna Hear At The Tattoo Parlor

  • We’re all out of red so I used pink.
  • You almost can’t tell I’ve never done this before.
  • I’m having a bad case of the shakes today.
  • Did I mention I failed art class in school?
  • Oh, don’t worry! I can fix that…I think.
  • Eagle? I thought you said beagle.
  • Whoops!
  • Well that’s never happened before!
  • This blood could help us on our low supply of red ink!
  • There’s 2 O’s in Bob right?


Want more Monday Madness? Click Here

It’s Monday. Hooray! OH…but it’s not just any stupid ol’ Monday. It’s a stupid ol’ CYBER Monday. Cyber Monday is the internet version of Black Friday, where online stores have good deals. But just because it’s online doesn’t mean it doesn’t get as gruesome as Black Friday. People can send you nasty emails and such. I wrote a song inspired by one person who sent me a horrible and rude email!

‘Cause I knew you were trouble when you logged in.

So shame on me now

Got mad cause I got the last item in the bargain bin

You gave me a frown 😦

I knew you were trouble when you logged in

Got mad cause I got the last item in the bargain bin

Now I’m feeling down

Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble
Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble

No comment

Waa Waa Waa!

Did you pass or fail this test?

Well that’s all for now! See ya next year!

I <3 Saturdays

Saturday. SATURDAY! SaTuRdAy! saturday? YES IT’S SATURDAY. What the heck was that?! I don’t know. I’m sorry. My weirdness has been getting out of control lately! What will we do?! It has to be tamed. But it can’t be tamed.

I can’t be tamed
I can’t be tamed
I can’t be blamed
I can’t, can’t, I can’t, can’t be tamed
I can’t be changed
I can’t be tamed
I can’t be, can’t, I can’t be tamed

Well then…let’s get this trainwreck on the road. Or would we want to get it off the road? I mean you know it’s a train wreck….so..wouldn’t we wanna clean the road it happened on up? Either way let’s start this episode of I<3 Saturdays.

Hey! SNL is the rerun with Joseph Gordon Levitt!


Whoa! Whoa! Violence is no way to respond to being picked from the tree!


Whoa…easy there Furby..I just forgot about you for a while…BUT now I remember you.. AND I totally didn’t replace you with the new Furbies that came out in 2012. Hey..that knife is awfully close to me..very close…very…very


We apologize but the rest of I ❤ Saturdays can not be seen at this time due to a bit disagreement with Purple and his Furby. We apologize and this will be just a brief disagreement…I ❤ Saturdays shall resume shortly.
















Dah a-loh nah-bah Noh-lah, O-kay? Kah toh-loo loo-loo.


Kah toh-loo loo-loo

Dah a-loh nah-bah


Things You Don’t Wanna Hear During Your Visit To The Dentist’s

  • “Just a warning, I’ll probably end up cutting your lip or tongue.”
  • “I hope you have a good dental plan.”
  • “Wow, look at all that blood.”
  • “Give me a second while I figure out how to stop the bleeding.”
  • “Ooops!”
  • “I’ve finished watching the ‘How To’ video. Shall we begin the root canal treatment?”
  • “I hope your Tooth Fairy has a second job.”
  • “How does it feel to be my first patient since I was reinstated?”
  •  “The dentist will see you now!”

Things You Don’t Wanna Hear During An Airplane Ride

  • On an ocean crossing flight: “This is your Captain speaking, I just wanted to take this time to remind you that your seat cushions can be used as floatation devices…”
  • “Hey folks, we’re going to play a little game of geography trivia. If you can recognize where we are, tell your flight attendant and receive an extra pack of peanuts.”
  •  “We’ve now reached our cruising altitude of 20,000 feet and …darn it!
  • “Our sudden loss of altitude allows a unique close up perspective of the local terrain. I assure you that it’s all part of our airlines new commitment to make your flight a sight seeing expedition.”
  • As the plane turns around right after takeoff: “… uhhhhh … We have to go back. … We… We… uhhhhhh …forgot something…”
  • “Aww, I can’t figure out how to turn this thing off and don’t worry, that gauge is always on ‘E’.”
  • “Ummmmmm … Sorry everybody …” (silence)

Things You Don’t Wanna Hear During Thanksgiving

  • Honey where’s the fire extinguisher?
  • All we have is decaf.
  • I didn’t have enough Pumpkin Pie filling so I mixed in some ground-up jalapenos….
  • Still need that fire extinguisher.
  • Hey kids, I read that the Pilgrims probably didn’t even have turkey on the first Thanksgiving so we’re having something authentic – woodchuck!
  • Dad, there are some people at the front door dressed up like pilgrims and Indians and they want to sing to you…
  • Can we please open some windows so the smoke alarm will shut off?
  • And thank you for this food, and thank you that I lost my job yesterday – oh honey, sorry but I forgot to mention that to you…
  • Billy’s fine. He hasn’t thrown up in hours.
  • It’s never too early for carols. Let’s sing!
  • Try it! It tastes as good as the real thing but it’s much healthier!
  • I think this turkey will be okay once I wipe the fire extinguisher foam off…
  • Here’s a poem I wrote about thankfulness.
  • We’re lactose-intolerant vegetarians!