Things NOT To Do: Ordering A Pizza

Ah, Pizza. A fantastic treat everyone loves. But there can be good ways to get this treat, and very, very bad ways to get this treat. Here are those bad ways:

  • Start the conversation with “My call to (Pizza place) take 1..ACTION!)
  • Do not name the toppings. Spell them.
  • Ask for a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.
  • Tell them to put the crust on top this time.
  • Sing the order to your favorite Lady GaGa song.
  • Ask for a deal that’s being served somewhere else. (for example, if ordering at Domino’s ask about their Pizza Hut Meat Lover’s Special!)
  • Tell them to make sure your pizza is dead.
  • Order two toppings then say “No, they’ll start fighting.”
  • Learn how to properly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie, ask if they’ll put it in your pizza.
  • Have the pizza delivered to a rival pizza place.
  • Ask how many dolphins were killed to make that pizza.
  • Give the order while drinking something.
  • Ask if the pizza is homegrown.
  • State your order and say that’s as far as this relationship’s gonna get.
  • End your call by saying “This conversation never happened.”




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