Things NOT To Do: In An Elevator

Elevator rides can be exciting. But there are some weird people out there who get ideas in their head and have to pursue them. So before that happens to you: Things you shouldn’t do on Elevator ride (NO MATTER HOW INSANELY FUN IT SOUNDS.)

1.  Sell Girl Scout cookies.

2. Shave.

3. Offer name tags to people coming on.

4. When it arrives at your floor, try to push the doors open and when they open automatically, act like you did that. (“Finally I got them pushed open.”)

5. Do Yoga. ( “Alright everyone, now let’s do the eagle pose.”)

6. Bring a chair and sit down for the ride.

7. When you’re in a crammed elevator, moan “Oh not now motion sickness.” (Unless of course you really have motion sickness.)

8. Sing “Mary Had A Little Lamb” the entire way to your floor.

9. Leave a box between the doors.

10.  Ask each passenger if you can push a button for them and then push the wrong one.

11. Have a hand puppet and talk to each passenger through it.

12. Say “Ding ” at every floor. (“It was funny the first time man, but c’mon Kevin, we’re at floor 23, give it a rest!)

13. Lean against the button panel.

14. Dance to the elevator music. (“What Harold? This is is my jam.”)

15. Make explosion noises everytime someone presses a button.

16. Play twister. (“Right hand, green.”)

17. Pretend you’re a flight attendant and review emergency procedures. (“And at the time of danger, an oxygen mask will drop below. Thank you and enjoy your flight.”)

Okay, so maybe some of those would be fun, but still……..



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