Things NOT To Do: At The Mall

Ah! The Mall! A great place to shop! It has a wide variety of stores and is like paradise to any shopaholic. It also is a great place to witness a stampede up close on Black Friday. But like everywhere, there are certain ways to act at a mall, and this isn’t the way:

  1. Ask mall cops what Paul Blart is like.
  2. Fall asleep on the mattress in the mattress store.
  3. At Christmas Time, ask Santa to sit on your lap.
  4. Stare at the static on the tv display and then ask the people walking by if they can see the hidden picture.
  5. Sprint up and down the escalator.
  6. When on the elevator say “I hope it doesn’t break this time.”
  7. Jump on the mattresses in the mattress store.
  8. Model the flea collars at the pet shop.
  9. Change every tv set in the tv store to Disney Channel and repeat the dialogue.

Don’t do those things and you’ll be sure to have a great day at the mall. If you do these things, don’t be surprised when you find out you’re on the mall cops’ most wanted list.

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